Overcoming fears

I'm deathly afraid of needles. Saturday I forced myself to overcome this phobia. What experience has more needles in one sitting than a doctor's visit? A tattoo. I forced myself through the experience of getting permanately inked. I made the appointment three months in advanced to prepare myself. I spoke to others with larger, elaborate tattoos to hear about their experiences. One great advice I was given was to not even think of it as a needle, but just as someone drawing on you with a dying pen. i kept insisting I was afraid of the pain and afraid I would flinch and fuck up the whole tattoo. He kept interrupting my franctic complains by saying, "it's just a pen, there's no needle".

And when the day came, I was actually pretty calm about it. Mind over matter, I kept reminding myself. My fear of needles is something that's completely in my mind and I have to train my brain not to shut down and panic from the idea of needles. I usually get dizzy, woozy, turn pale and my vision goes white. I've passed out on two occasions as well. Giving myself a few months preparation was definitely a smart idea, as I was able to calm my nerves through conditioning.

I layed across the table and my heart was not pounding as much as I expected it to. I wasn't shaking. My palms weren't sweating. This is the most calm I've ever been around needles. I didn't flinch. I thought about the "pen" that was drawing on me the whole time. It didn't hurt, with the exception of two locations. Surprisingly, it was a great experience, and I'm already thinking about the next one! I was able to overcome my biggest fear through mental conditioning. Next is to overcome heights!