Fear

I have a fear of many things in life but the ones I hate the most are the dark as in no street lights or nature lights – just complete darkness, scary movies, and creepy looking beings. When I was a kid, I always needed some sort of light source to make sure that I can see everything in my room at night. At the same time, the play on shadow from the light makes it even worst. I start imagining that the creature is hiding in the darkness and waiting to come out and attack me.

Did I mention that I am a very jumpy person? I jump in my seat when a person sneezes in the room that’s how bad it is… which is why I can’t watch any scary/horror movies or anything that has the boogey man jump in out of nowhere. My heart would probably explode from all the “surprises” they’re giving me. I sometimes scare myself when I see myself in the mirror in the bathroom late at night because I’m afraid of something coming out of the mirror or passing through behind me even when it isn’t even there. (I think I need to stop watching people play Fatal Frame.) When I went to the doctor to get my thyroid level check, it was low, which meant I get too nervous and jumpy, which is true and probably not healthy at all. I still refuse to watch any movies that will scare the living daylights out of me even when they don’t appear that bad but there are too many random surprises that I wouldn’t be able to handle example War of the World.

Now I can say I’m better at handling the darkness but my fear is still there. I went inside the Recital hall when it was during the day and when I went in it was completely dark expect for the light that is on the piano. I stood on the stage and realized I can’t see anything in front of me and all I could hear was the sound of my own footsteps on the wooden stage and my own heart beats. Also darkness is always related to a dead person coming back to life or an ugly creature out to eat you. When I look out my window since I live in the back of my building, I can’t help but feel a dead person/zombie will be thrown at my window or pop out of nowhere. Yeah, that’s how bad it is even when I know all these movies are fictional…