The Ladies

So My love life is Sh*T.lol. Well I had a girlfriend out of high school and into college, and that lasted a good 2.5 years or so, until I found out she was crazy, and spewed lies like a drunk Irishman. She was the love of my life and i just denied to believe she was the person she was. That relationship eventually finished up with quite a band with her begging for forgiveness at the stony brook Library. My Next relationship was with a girl I was very close with in High School and who became my best friend my freshman year of college. We were on and off for a while because when we got together he had left her boyfriend for me and had trouble deciding who she wanted to be with so i just as they say.. "bounced". I was tired of being in a love triangle.

My more recent relationship was one with a Filmmaker. The woman was living my dream. I went to high school with her and we both attended NYU future filmmaker workshop, and she was actually attending NYU and still is. She is graduating this semester. When i was with her I was making a lot of money. I really spoiled her for quite a while. Bought the food, the booze, and the hookah. We were living the high life. I would take a train to the city and just crash at her place in the city. I slowly but surely started falling for this girl, but i wasn't 100% myself. I would always feel like i was not good enough for her. It was a self esteem issue which i had found out after we had broken up. When we went our separate ways our reasons were long distance and being on different emotional levels. And I completely understand now what that meant. I'm a talkative person and I am very open about myself, my experiences, and who I am. But she was not that open in a sense that she wouldn't say thing to just say it.

I feel like i should of shown more of an interest in who she was and how she came to be the person that she has become. I wanted to ask personal questions but had refrained because i didn't want to impose myself onto her life. I knew there were touchy subjects and didn't want to open anything up that she wasn't ready for. So i just thought she would open up on her own time. Which i suppose didn't really happen. I should of Opened it up.

Regardless of whatever that has happened we were together for almost 6 months. I miss her dearly. She was one person that I honestly felt comfortable with, disregarding me esteem issue. I have learned to get over it all however and be myself, no matter what. I am who I am, I deserve what I get, and that's how I will live my life.