Nostalgia

Nostalgia hits.

Remember those times when you talked to her all night on the phone for a couple of hours, waiting for her to fall asleep? Or maybe just consoling her? Or maybe making her laugh? Remember all those grins that you kept to yourself whenever she would speak or whenever she would give a slight laugh? How about all those times when you would just grab you pillow and hug it, wishing that it was her? Then, you would wake up totally exhausted from the previous night, yet you wouldn't regret a single moment of it. Later that night, the phone calls would start again. Then remember the night where she told you something so personal, that the only way she could recite it was with a stutter and tears? You didn't know what to do so you tried to make her feel better, telling her that everything would be okay.
Remember when you toughened up and told her how you felt? You told her that you needed to get over these feelings and you just told her that you were falling for her?

The nostalgia stops.
The pain hits.

I remember that night clearly. I told you I was falling for you. An awkward silence formed.
Nostalgia is starting to repeat itself. We're starting to speak occasionally on the phone for an hour or two. We're starting to get closer once again.
Those feelings are starting to rise.

But, you've finally done it. You've finally found the way.
You've never disappointed me so much. Yet, for some reason, I just push it away.

I just ... don't know why.