__________.

Winters in the city are the best. As I wait for the train, the aroma of warm, baked pretzels swirl around my nose through the warm air. The chattering of people falls dim as the saxophone echoes through the station, giving some life in the air. I close my eyes, lay my head back onto a pole, and just let this moment take me away. This is where I want to always spend my winter nights in. Somewhere my problems and my worries can be carried away from me. Yet, for a reason, I just felt that tiny feeling of loneliness. I miss you.
I remember the first time we met. I sat in solitary, waiting for my friends, until you appeared next to me. Out of all the empty seats around us, you chose to sit right next to me. Shy and timid, I sat there quietly, just keeping to myself and minding my own business. A silence that I predicted was soon broken once you asked me for my name. My name started off with a stutter and ended off with me spelling my last name out, since no one seems to know how to spell it. We hit it off from there, talking for the rest of the time we were there. Your name was _____ and you’re two years younger than me. You live in Springfield, Bayside and you’ve known me for a quite a while, even though I don’t recall seeing you in the past.
By the end of the night, we established a pretty good friendship. But I knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere since you already had a boyfriend. Then you had a cute idea where we would switch phones for the night. I smile when I think about your small little scheme. We were all leaving cause we all grew tired and planned to call it a night. Once I got into my room, you gave me a call to ask for my charger. Later I found out you just wanted to see me before you went to sleep. It was all too adorable.
________. The name echoed through my head as I struggled to fall asleep. I held your phone close to my chest as I laid there, awake, hoping that sleep would slowly come. Anticipation grew stronger, time grew slower, and my patience grew thin. Tempted to call you at 4 in the morning just to see you, my fingers hovered over the ‘call’ button. This was only the second night also. One more night till we finally go home but 4 more hours till I see her. I just lied there with my eyes closed, phone held close to my chest, just waiting for a simple call or a text. I miss you.
My heart shook and I awoke. I quickly picked up the phone and you asked me if I wanted breakfast. I jumped out of bed, dove into my jeans, and ran downstairs. There you were, on the stairs waiting for me, patiently. I quietly sat next to you and you put your head on my shoulder. “I’m sick. I think I caught a cold.” I never left you alone after that. I was always there for you, making you tea, getting you food, and just taking care of you. Just watching you suffer made my heart ache. It’s quite funny because I’ve only known you for a day and yet I cared so much for you. That’s when I realized that I was falling for you _______. An attraction I feared since she already had someone. If only.
We continued to talk every single day since then. Anticipation soon became an actual problem as I waited to talk to you through instant messaging. Falling harder, I knew I was stuck in my feelings for you. New Years Eve came, a few days after we came back from retreat. That’s where it all started.
Church on New Years Eve was how she wanted to spend it with me. The snow fell heavily, blanketing the floor. I stood outside church, waiting for you to come out. My hands dug inside my pockets with a clenched fist as my gloves were placed on top of my bed. Once you came out, we ran to get some Chinese food. You told me earlier that you were craving it. Since they were closing, we had to eat outside in the snow. Our hands were so cold that eating became difficult to accomplish. Unfinished, we threw out the food and started walking around the neighborhood. Our body grew weak to the cold so we sat down and just held each other just to warm down. Just holding you was just sensational. If only this moment lasted forever. I didn’t want to let you go but you still had a boyfriend. I had to let you go.
We walked around a little more and walked into the alleys and just held each other for a little. You laid your head on my chest and closed your eyes as I looked down and smiled. This is my definition of true euphoria. I held you closer and you looked up at me. You looked deep into my eyes. “Eugene, I think I’m falling for you.”
The soothing sound of the saxophones is suddenly disrupted by a combination of whistling and screeches as the train pulls up. The relaxed station is briefly disrupted by the crowds of people as they leave the station. The exquisite aroma is broken and is lost within everyone. I awake from my daze and there you are in front of me.
_________.
You give me a kiss.
Just like the one we had on New Years Eve.