Monday 28 February 2011
Rip Danyal
My dearest cousin who was only in his early thirties just passed away. I could not be more stunned then ever. It was a complete shock to everyone because not once did he complain of any pain. He had a sudden heart attack and we all know young adults rarely survive heart attacks. May God be with him and may he rest in peace.
Music for Studying?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D8LadSz-QQ&feature=related
I wonder if this really helps anyone
I wonder if this really helps anyone
Perspective: Columbine
http://www.thecaptainslog.org/documentingdisaster.html
Here's the website to a documentary shot about the Collegiate Times, the on-campus newspaper for Virginia Tech and the amazing work they did documenting and guiding their university through a time of extreme peril and the story for all of it. Perhaps I'll try to drive this one into some sort of story for the Decameron. Who knows?
- Kenneth
Here's the website to a documentary shot about the Collegiate Times, the on-campus newspaper for Virginia Tech and the amazing work they did documenting and guiding their university through a time of extreme peril and the story for all of it. Perhaps I'll try to drive this one into some sort of story for the Decameron. Who knows?
- Kenneth
My grandpas story
I don't know much of my family history and stories except for my one grandpa. The reason why is because he's always told me stories about himself growing up during the depression in Harlem. Whenever he tells me them I feel like I'm learning a part of history and at the same time it makes me thankful for what I have today.
Both of my great grandparents came over to the united states from italy during the early 1900's. They ended up settling in a mostly Italian neighborhood in east Harlem. My grandpa had 8 other brothers and sisters that all had to live in a small apartment. He told me how about the depression was and how everyone was poor. He even said his teacher would bring him sandwiches to school because sometimes he wouldn't have any lunch.
Almost every Christmas he tells me to be happy with whatever I get and he jokes around saying he'd be lucky if he got coal for christmas because at least it'd keep him warm. He said one year he actually got an orange for Christmas. Yeah an orange, something that someone would have for breakfast on a normal day. So you should always be happy with whatever you have because someone out there has it much worse off.
Both of my great grandparents came over to the united states from italy during the early 1900's. They ended up settling in a mostly Italian neighborhood in east Harlem. My grandpa had 8 other brothers and sisters that all had to live in a small apartment. He told me how about the depression was and how everyone was poor. He even said his teacher would bring him sandwiches to school because sometimes he wouldn't have any lunch.
Almost every Christmas he tells me to be happy with whatever I get and he jokes around saying he'd be lucky if he got coal for christmas because at least it'd keep him warm. He said one year he actually got an orange for Christmas. Yeah an orange, something that someone would have for breakfast on a normal day. So you should always be happy with whatever you have because someone out there has it much worse off.
My awesome cousins
A few weeks ago my dad got my cousins to drive me back to the campus. It was 11 pm at night and I finally got back on campus at around 12 to 1 am. On the way there my cousin would occasionally get road rage, which was hilarious, she got irritated because some driver was tail-gating her car. As we were passing the darkest part of the highway, my other cousin was talking about her adventure when she went to a rural state and how she heard a scary story about a dark area on the highway. Obviously, the setting of the ghost story was similar to the area we were passing through and so my cousin offered me if I wanted to hear the story. I quickly answered “No”, but she said “okay I’ll tell you anyways.”
The story was, there were a bunch of nuns on a school bus driving at night; the highway was pitched black. All of a sudden they saw a lady in a white gown in the middle of the highway. Like good nuns they got off the bus and try to offer the lady help, but then they realized that the woman did not have any feet.
After hearing the story, I yelled at my cousin for telling me such a story but she just laughed it off. Then a few days ago my cousin told me that when she dropped me off campus, they got lost for two hours. This is what I call karma.
Oh spring...
It’s just the beginning of March and it already feels like spring. Do not get me wrong I love spring, but not the part where the sky is grey and gloomy and the floor is full of giant puddles. Other than that spring is a lovely season where everything blooms, but beware of allergies. I know many of my friends hate spring because of the many types of pollen in the air. I’ve seen my sister suffer from allergies, it seemed painful with all the snuffling, watery eyes, and rashes. I could say I am a little excited for spring because I do not favor the cold weather. This year had more snow than I have ever seen in my life and I hope there would not be any more snow… Another reason why I favor the early coming of spring is that it would feel as if school would be ending soon and the blazing heat of summer would be swarming in fast as ever. I cannot wait for the summer to come although there is no school, it is time to job hunt.
Powerpoint presentation of my idea
This is a powerpoint presentation of my theme "Change of Romance throughout time."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwhfutX7RKM
Late For Class (Part II)
This is when we finally get to the Staller Center. Check out our grand entrance!
COLLEGE life
College life, is based around finding things. Atleast that's what I've learned so far. We as students are always moving, always finding. Wheres the homework, wheres the chemistry building, wheres the math learning center, where do I go to become part of a sports team, wheres the party, wheres the beer, etc. College is fueled by curiosity and question, our lives are both burdened by and privileged with a sense of independence. As we progress throughout college, and life for that matter, we become more and more of what we find. We are what we discover, and I feel that from the first day in college, that first step out of high school, we expanded our realm of opportunity by placing the power of decision making in our own hands. I feel like its from this subconscious drive that we learn the most from in our lives.
AA
Charles Bukowski was an alcoholic. He's also one of my favorite writers. True to Ockham's razor, Bukowski combines the angst of life other writers seek out but in a simple way. His language is crisp but even with his short sentences, his impact stays.
My favorite poem of his:
Let It Enfold You
By Charles Bukowski
either peace or happiness,
let it enfold you
when I was a young man
I felt these things were
dumb, unsophisticated.
I had bad blood, a twisted
mind, a precarious
upbringing.
I was hard as granite, I
leered at the
sun.
I trusted no man and
especially no
woman.
I was living a hell in
small rooms, I broke
things, smashed things,
walked through glass,
cursed.
I challenged everything,
was continually being
evicted, jailed,in and
out of fights, in and out
of my mind.
women were something
to screw and rail
at, I had no male
friends,
I changed jobs and
cities, I hated holidays,
babies, history,
newspapers, museums,
grandmothers,
marriage, movies,
spiders, garbagemen,
english accents,spain,
france,italy,walnuts and
the color
orange.
algebra angred me,
opera sickened me,
charlie chaplin was a
fake
and flowers were for
pansies.
peace an happiness to me
were signs of
inferiority,
tenants of the weak
an
addled
mind.
but as I went on with
my alley fights,
my suicidal years,
my passage through
any number of
women-it gradually
began to occur to
me
that I wasn't different
from the
others, I was the same,
they were all fulsome
with hatred,
glossed over with petty
greivances,
the men I fought in
alleys had hearts of stone.
everybody was nudging,
inching, cheating for
some insignificant
advantage,
the lie was the
weapon and the
plot was
empty,
darkness was the
dictator.
cautiously, I allowed
myself to feel good
at times.
I found moments of
peace in cheap
rooms
just staring at the
knobs of some
dresser
or listening to the
rain in the
dark.
the less I needed
the better I
felt.
maybe the other life had worn me
down.
I no longer found
glamour
in topping somebody
in conversation.
or in mounting the
body of some poor
drunken female
whose life had
slipped away into
sorrow.
I could never accept
life as it was,
i could never gobble
down all its
poisons
but there were parts,
tenous magic parts
open for the
asking.
I re formulated
I don't know when,
date, time, all
that
but the change
occured.
something in me
relaxed, smoothed
out.
i no longer had to
prove that I was a
man,
I did'nt have to prove
anything.
I began to see things:
coffee cups lined up
behind a counter in a
cafe.
or a dog walking along
a sidewalk.
or the way the mouse
on my dresser top
stopped there
with its body,
its ears,
its nose,
it was fixed,
a bit of life
caught within itself
and its eyes looked
at me
and they were
beautiful.
then- it was
gone.
I began to feel good,
I began to feel good
in the worst situations
and there were plenty
of those.
like say, the boss
behind his desk,
he is going to have
to fire me.
I've missed too many
days.
he is dressed in a
suit, necktie, glasses,
he says, "I am going
to have to let you go"
"it's all right" I tell
him.
He must do what he
must do, he has a
wife, a house, children.
expenses, most probably
a girlfreind.
I am sorry for him
he is caught.
I walk onto the blazing
sunshine.
the whole day is
mine
temporailiy,
anyhow.
(the whole world is at the
throat of the world,
everybody feels angry,
short-changed, cheated,
everybody is despondent,
dissillusioned)
I welcomed shots of
peace, tattered shards of
happiness.
I embraced that stuff
like the hottest number,
like high heels, breasts,
singing,the
works.
(dont get me wrong,
there is such a thing as cockeyed optimism
that overlooks all
basic problems just for
the sake of
itself-
this is a shield and a
sickness.)
The knife got near my
throat again,
I almost turned on the
gas
again
but when the good
moments arrived
again
I did'nt fight them off
like an alley
adversary.
I let them take me,
i luxuriated in them,
I bade them welcome
home.
I even looked into
the mirror
once having thought
myself to be
ugly,
I now liked what
I saw,almost
handsome, yes,
a bit ripped and
ragged,
scares, lumps,
odd turns,
but all in all,
not too bad,
almost handsome,
better at least than
some of those movie
star faces
like the cheeks of
a baby's
butt.
and finally I discovered
real feelings of
others,
unheralded,
like lately,
like this morning,
as I was leaving,
for the track,
i saw my wife in bed,
just the
shape of
her head there
(not forgetting
centuries of the living
and the dead and
the dying,
the pyramids,
Mozart dead
but his music still
there in the
room, weeds growing,
the earth turning,
the toteboard waiting for
me)
I saw the shape of my
wife's head,
she so still,
I ached for her life,
just being there
under the
covers.
I kissed her in the,
forehead,
got down the stairway,
got outside,
got into my marvelous
car,
fixed the seatbelt,
backed out the
drive.
feeling warm to
the fingertips,
down to my
foot on the gas
pedal,
I entered the world
once
more,
drove down the
hill
past the houses
full and empty
of
people,
I saw the mailman,
honked,
he waved
back
at me.
It's a wonderful poem, very true to Bukowski's essence. I've always had a soft spot for Bukowski. From his short stories and various novels, I feel like I know who he is. He acts rude but he does little things that show how truly great of a person he is. He drank a lot. He disrespected women. He didn't respect authority. However, he had a gentle soul. He cared for animals and for people who really needed it.
On the outside, he looked like a grumpy drunk. And, I'll admit, I hate watching his YouTube clips, especially the one where he kicks his woman. But beneath all of that, there was a sensitive person. He was compassionate and empathetic. His problem was he was afraid of his emotions. He guzzled booze but he couldn't escape his sensitivity. Just read his poem "Bluebird."
Living Zombie
I've been moving through my day like a listless zombie. Barely awake and not interacting or even reacting to my surroundings. My thoughts are becoming foggy and the professor is now tuned out to nothing but a mere muffle. I know the majority of my posts talk about school work, but it's the only thing I know nowadays. My parents have made it very clear to me that my full time occupation is a student.
It's funny how sometimes I think I make more sense when I'm writing as I'm half awake, but I think that's just delirium talking right now. I'm just counting down the minutes 'til I can have my next coffee. I'm not used to this sleep deprivation for the semester, but this week has been jam packed with projects, homework, and midterms to study for. I know that even though I'm tired now, I'll probably get a second wind soon. I hate this because it tricks my body into thinking I don't need to sleep when in reality I am in desperate need of it.
Is this what it's like to be the living dead? Not truly dead, but not truly alive either. Everything is a blur, eyelids are heavy...
It's funny how sometimes I think I make more sense when I'm writing as I'm half awake, but I think that's just delirium talking right now. I'm just counting down the minutes 'til I can have my next coffee. I'm not used to this sleep deprivation for the semester, but this week has been jam packed with projects, homework, and midterms to study for. I know that even though I'm tired now, I'll probably get a second wind soon. I hate this because it tricks my body into thinking I don't need to sleep when in reality I am in desperate need of it.
Is this what it's like to be the living dead? Not truly dead, but not truly alive either. Everything is a blur, eyelids are heavy...
Late For Class (Part I)
We lost track of time working on vlogs for class. Once we realized what time it was we had to rush to class...
Fake Freestyle
Nowadays it seems like anyone can make it in the music industry, luckily we still have people like Common, Talib Kweli, Nas, Kanye West, and etc.
Quit While You're Ahead
The other day, I had the pleasure of experiencing the awkward moment of being in the room while my roommate and her boyfriend had an argument over something menial. Despite the fact that I tried to tune them out and ignore them, I couldn't help but overhear tidbits of their conversation as I sat in my chair attempting to do my homework -- to no avail, they were awfully distracting!
What I've learned from their fighting is that although both parties had good points, they both had flaws in their arguments. Nobody likes admitting that they're wrong, but having to hear their constant bickering back and forth was giving me and headache. I realized that as we become more comfortable with people, a rebuttal such as "Because I want to" or "Well why can't I?" now becomes perfectly valid -- kind of like the dynamic between teenagers and their parents. What is it about our egos that makes it so hard to swallow our pride and apologize or admit that we were wrong?
For me, on several occasions, I know that I could have avoided putting myself into a bad situation had I just apologized instead of trying to prove my blatantly incorrect point. I suppose it's something we all inherently understand, but our stubborn selves won't let us actually put this knowledge into action.
What I've learned from their fighting is that although both parties had good points, they both had flaws in their arguments. Nobody likes admitting that they're wrong, but having to hear their constant bickering back and forth was giving me and headache. I realized that as we become more comfortable with people, a rebuttal such as "Because I want to" or "Well why can't I?" now becomes perfectly valid -- kind of like the dynamic between teenagers and their parents. What is it about our egos that makes it so hard to swallow our pride and apologize or admit that we were wrong?
For me, on several occasions, I know that I could have avoided putting myself into a bad situation had I just apologized instead of trying to prove my blatantly incorrect point. I suppose it's something we all inherently understand, but our stubborn selves won't let us actually put this knowledge into action.
Dirty First Floor Bathrooms
I live on the first floor of O'Neill college and somehow every thursday night/friday morning there happens to be unidentifiable things that pollute the toilets. I don't understand why people dirty the bathrooms to ruin it for everyone on the floor. I have seen large amounts of vomit and other equally disgusting substances in there that makes me go upstairs to use the bathroom almost every time. People should really learn to respect their " home away from home" especially since it's not only your home but a home to a hall of other people as well. Also the janitors have to clean that disgusting mess up and I don't think it's fair to them either . I sure wouldn't want to clean a bathroom full of vomit and urine all over the floor and I'm sure everyone else would not want to.
A lot of people disregard the designated stalls for number one and number two. They make it like that for a reason. I'm sure no one wants to sit on a toilet seat drenched in urine. I hope everyone starts to clean up after their own mess making the lives of the janitors and a dozen other students easier.
Vitamins, Sleep, & Exercise
Last semester it was very difficult for me to stay awake. Let alone the fact that I was taking 7 classes, 2 math courses, 3 sciences courses, 1 DEC, and 1 engineering course, and constantly trying to squeeze all my work into the wee hours of the day. Time management was hard for me and my lack of sleep left me in a terrible mood. I was cranky, irritable, and moreso depressed.
That's why I'm so glad that this semester has been a brand new start. I sleep an average of 7 hours per night, except on days where I'm pushing myself to complete many different tasks for different classes. Alongside with my fixed sleeping schedule, I've also been supplementing vitamin tablets into my daily diet. I didn't think it would really do anything for me at first, but since I've been continually taking my vitamins, I've been more alert in class and energized for other tasks throughout my day.
While I've been skipping out on exercise, I still try to make a trip to the gym every now and then to keep my body in shape, and my mind mentally focused. It's hard to work up a sweat at first but once you get into gear, working out is rewarding in so many ways.
I honestly never thought that sleep, vitamins, and exercise would affect my life so adversely. I somehow convinced myself that sleep wasn't as important as getting my work done until I realized that I would be getting my work done more efficiently if I had slept better! I've had trouble with staying alert all throughout high school, and I wasn't succeeding as much as I'd like to during my first few semesters at college. Finally, I'm getting myself back on track and will be making a big comeback for this spring!
That's why I'm so glad that this semester has been a brand new start. I sleep an average of 7 hours per night, except on days where I'm pushing myself to complete many different tasks for different classes. Alongside with my fixed sleeping schedule, I've also been supplementing vitamin tablets into my daily diet. I didn't think it would really do anything for me at first, but since I've been continually taking my vitamins, I've been more alert in class and energized for other tasks throughout my day.
While I've been skipping out on exercise, I still try to make a trip to the gym every now and then to keep my body in shape, and my mind mentally focused. It's hard to work up a sweat at first but once you get into gear, working out is rewarding in so many ways.
I honestly never thought that sleep, vitamins, and exercise would affect my life so adversely. I somehow convinced myself that sleep wasn't as important as getting my work done until I realized that I would be getting my work done more efficiently if I had slept better! I've had trouble with staying alert all throughout high school, and I wasn't succeeding as much as I'd like to during my first few semesters at college. Finally, I'm getting myself back on track and will be making a big comeback for this spring!
Dream Girl (Deep Nonsense)
Dream Girl (Deep Nonsense)
I had a dream and it all started like this: I was just walking in a store and what not
then my eyes met the eyes of this Bad girl, sexy girl, make u want to slap your
momma type girl [I’m going to take a moment and just describe her] she had all of her own hair, inviting eyes and smile, she was colorless(well to my eyes), personality
popping. She had a good enough height shorter den me and a voice I wouldn't
mind recording so that if I were to play it in the a.m. it would prove to me that
I'm in a better place, so yea I knew I had to talk to her but I didn't want to
approach her in a way any random dude would, I guess I had to be that one in a
million, I wanted to make her see what I saw in her in me. I was looking for a way to go
up to her and luckily she left one of her bags so I decided to bring it to her. We
started talking I made her smile I made her laugh, it felt like I took a gun and
MURDERED not her but the awkwardness that we both started out with. I made her
feel comfortable, she thru her number my way w/o me even asking for it so I guess
everything was going goooood. I hit her up wit some nice chat and she did the
same. Before I knew it felt like it was jus me and her on top of the world
nobody could mess with us. She gave me that good love, that stay an hour longer
type love, that if you didn't know me before WELL you do now type love and after awhile I felt that our physical presence didn't matter cause our souls were the ones hooked to each other. One night I popped the question she said "yes" and told all her
friends. Then we went to bed happy (you feel me HAPPY)..the alarm woke me
up. It actually woke me out of my dream state cause she wasn't there (none of
this really took place) but it felt so reaaaaallll though. So now I come to
realize God wants me to find my dream girl but this time in reality, cause we are
beyond the dream state like I said we soul mates and hopefully when I see her again
she'll be like "thanks for bringing me the bag I left in the store that day" here we go
again...
Gluttony
I'm currently working on a 2D side scroller utilizing C++ and DirectX for rendering the graphics, and it's called Gluttony. I'll give a quick brief about it later on. It's an individual project required for my CSE 380 (Game Development) class and will be by far the biggest project I've ever worked on in terms of programming. I've drawn most of the graphics myself and so far the only thing I've been able to finish coding was my main menu - whoopee! That took me the course of an entire weekend. Phew, I wonder how people do it.
Granted, I'm not the most skilled codemonkey, but I still cannot believe it took me several hours to read over the source code and just try to figure out what everything in each class does. My second benchmark was due today, and I'm pretty sure that I didn't even complete the requirements properly. But for my first benchmark, we were to create a game design document and a storyboard, so I already have the idea for the game down pat.
Gluttony is a game about eating, with me as the main character (this was a requirement!)
Short backstory from my game design document:
Granted, I'm not the most skilled codemonkey, but I still cannot believe it took me several hours to read over the source code and just try to figure out what everything in each class does. My second benchmark was due today, and I'm pretty sure that I didn't even complete the requirements properly. But for my first benchmark, we were to create a game design document and a storyboard, so I already have the idea for the game down pat.
Gluttony is a game about eating, with me as the main character (this was a requirement!)
Short backstory from my game design document:
"Upon falling deep into a food coma, Pam wakes up in a strange edible land. At first, she believes this is dream come true until realizing that seemingly harmless cotton-candy bunny rabbits and other odd food-creatures attempt to eat her. Guided by a mysterious omnipresent voice named Wage, Pam learns that the only way to survive in this world is by eating everything else in sight. It’s either flight or fight, and she will have to either eat or be eaten."
The game design needs to be constantly revised, but that's all I have for now. I'm very excited to get this game completed, but the class is so demanding, I'm worried I won't have time to do much else. Wish me luck!
Friend named Stress (Deep Nonsense)
Friend named Stress (Deep Nonsense)
She lets what shouldn’t Matter on her Mind…thus its never Mind over Matter, this world is a cruel world at times where humans act more like animals and animals act more like human beings. Life isn’t a game, that’s why no one has all the pieces to it. Instead you let life get to you in the worst way to the point where stress is nothing but a friend. But I ensure you Stress and I never really meet..we’re more like acquaintances. I quess I never really got over the fact that Stress befriended my friend Jamie and now shes in Gods hands. Or the fact that when I was younger I thought my fathers nick name was Stress. Because only Stress mixed with alcohol could do such things to a pregnant mother carrying an unborn child that would grow to be a King. Damn talk about praying for a better tomorrow. And I come to see that Stress and Misery are sisters. And Misery wanted to date me, but I told her she was bad company. So you see that life isn’t made to be without struggle. I tell people what I think they should hear cause if I let someone know the hurdles ive been threw or heard, people would fear coming outside in fear that it might be their day. But hurdles are placed there to see how one gets over them.
Early Sunday Morning
This vlog was taken Sunday Morning an hour before the store opens. The start of a long day at Staples.
I'll call this my Lil Trackstar (Deep Nonsense)
I’ll call this one my Lil Trackstar (Deep Nonsense)...
I’ll start this off by saying I hope I helped you on your way there. Growing up we had it rough I'm not going to lie, but I tried my best to protect my baby sis (yea yea I don’t care if you hate the way that sounds it is what it is) I remember when I use to chase you and pretend I was a plane. I made it seem as though I was coming to clip your wings, at that time we both knew I was able and faster, but sometimes I didn't want to tag you. I wanted to give you that feeling of happiness..that taste of success..that feeling where you felt you got away from big brother (not the government..but me)..I wanted to show you that by standing still you’ll never reach your dream so I had to keep u running...I wanted to see my lil trackstar shine..when you think I don't care your wrong..I might not show up to every meet..but I pray every night to make things right..I asked God to let me be that voice in your ear carrying a bat..I carry the bat to beat down all the voices of the nonbelievers, the haters, and basically the heads that fear your potential. I don't want u 2 fear the problems that your going to face in life cause there like hurdles all we got to do is get over them. Ad I'm not saying I'm the best but I won't EVER give up. When people said stuff about me...saying I "can't" to me all I could do was show them that I could..and I would fight anyone for you as you already know I already got into a big fight when we were younger with Webster for even allowing that word "can't" in his book..I told him that ill try my best to keep that word away from my lil trackstar cause that word’s taboo to the ears. I might need 10 bats to fight it down. The only time I want to hear that from you is when you say "I can't LOSE"..I purposely took the flying shoes 4rm the heavens and stitched it on
your feet jus so that you would always know that heavens looking down on you..so again I say I hope I helped u on your way there my Lil Trackstar…
-Dedicated to my sister
Televised Trouble
I’m starting to get really annoyed with cablevision’s trend of charging more money for fewer channels in their basic package. I’m left with a bunch of channels that I never watch, while the few network that I do like are disappearing. How are you going to make me upgrade to a new package to get back the content that I was already paying for? I’d like to try a different provider, but I’m not sure what I find will be much better. A recent Dish network commercial went along the lines of: “Don’t you wish you could choose what channels you pay for individually? Well other providers won’t let you do that…. And neither will we. But our packages are slightly more specific than theirs are.” This is terrible advertisement! What kind of company poses a problem that consumers are having and then proposes an “almost” solution? Is it really that impossible to let me choose channels one by one? Is it an issue with the networks themselves? The somewhat recent rate increase controversy that caused FOX to temporarily pull it’s programming from cablevision is certainly proof of the power a network can wield. One more complaint about television service: How are you going to charge for DVR service?
Isn’t the DVR a piece of hardware that records the programming I’m already paying for? You wouldn’t try to charge me for recording on a VCR. I’ve been recording TV digitally long before DVR service was available through the use of a TV-Tuner card in my PC, no one tried to charge me for that. All you need for a DVR is a tuner and a hard drive, you don’t need any “service”!
Time To Take The Old Signs Down
This vlog was shot while I was taking the old signs down for the next week's sale.
Love Med. (Deep Nonsense)
Love Med. (Deep Nonsense)
Love is a word that's easily said but also easily forgotten, that word should come with a warning sign like pills: it may include cheating, lying, pity,
unfaithfulness etc., don't use this if under the age., prescribed by the love doctor. People fear to use it to soon or even at all, some throw it around as if they're playing hot potato, but I ensure people that's a game I don't want to play, but I've played it before. I used it so much to the point where I feel as if love isn't good enough, so maybe I don't want to love you, just maybe I want to like u more than love, cause if love stops at the ceiling, I want that stuff that goes to the sky, cause sky’s the limit, but what I feel is limitless 2 anything (well in my eyes anyways)...I feel like that word is so fucked up. I feel like teaching a class on love and making the world my student. Hopefully one day the student will surpass the teacher….wouldn't we all LOVE that...
Dan Gulino #11 Experiment
During the last week of school last semester, I participated in a mandatory experiment for PSY 103 that involved me working with a teammate in order to “accomplish a goal”. Saliva samples were taken before and after the experiment in order to record my initial and post hormonal levels. After the experiment was over, the examiner revealed to me that my “partner” was testing me the entire time. My “partner” was a researcher who was African American, testing if my hormonal levels changed around a man of different race. I was completely fooled and boggled after this news was dropped on me. However, the underlying point is that these researchers at Stony Brook University take enough initiative, time, and effort to make their experiments so diverse, convincing, and worthwhile.
For the first time in my life, I know what it feels like to be an experiment. Graduate students take my actions and thoughts serious enough to record them, analyze them and present them in order to better a case study on a given topic. Some experiments were more interesting than others, but all accomplished the overall goal of adding data to a case study in order to validate an experiment. However, I still feel dooped and deceived.
For the first time in my life, I know what it feels like to be an experiment. Graduate students take my actions and thoughts serious enough to record them, analyze them and present them in order to better a case study on a given topic. Some experiments were more interesting than others, but all accomplished the overall goal of adding data to a case study in order to validate an experiment. However, I still feel dooped and deceived.
Dan Gulino #10 Disabilities
While, growing up I never knew anyone that had Autism. After studying the disorder in my first semester at SUNY Stony Brook, and watching the MTV series “True Life: I have Autism”, I feel more informed of what toll the disorder has on the affected individual, and the people surrounding them. Now that I understand what symptoms come along with Autism, I can better understand the situation Autistic people are in when I come into contact with them.
After seeing this documentary, my views on Autistic people have changed. I did not know Autistic people could function to the extent they can in everyday normal society. After watching Jeremy, I understand the amount of work it takes to prepare an Autistic person for interaction in society, and I now respect Autism care takers on a new higher level. I also respect people with Autism on another level for the amount of work they do every day to learn things I take for granted. I have never thought the ability to speak was such a blessing. Not only speech, but being able to control my emotions the way that I do is a blessing, and should not be taken for granted. All people should take the time to educate themselves, even in the slightest manner to understand Autistic people to a better degree.
After seeing this documentary, my views on Autistic people have changed. I did not know Autistic people could function to the extent they can in everyday normal society. After watching Jeremy, I understand the amount of work it takes to prepare an Autistic person for interaction in society, and I now respect Autism care takers on a new higher level. I also respect people with Autism on another level for the amount of work they do every day to learn things I take for granted. I have never thought the ability to speak was such a blessing. Not only speech, but being able to control my emotions the way that I do is a blessing, and should not be taken for granted. All people should take the time to educate themselves, even in the slightest manner to understand Autistic people to a better degree.
In The Warehouse
This vlog is from the warehouse at Staples. I was setting up a shredder display at work.
stupid drivers
Some people don't deserve to have the right to drive. I don't know who is giving the drivers test, but they need to be fired. The people that are being allowed to drive do not need to be given that right. I find that the worst drivers come out in bad weather. They cut you off in the rain and stop short in front of you. These people act as if they are the only ones on the road and you don't exist.
This aggravates me to no end so much that I wish I had an eject button in my car to eject them out of their car. When people drive stupidly, they act as if it is your fault and you are in their world and live by the rules of the road that they set. The other driver that gets on my nerves is the driver that loves to talk on the phone and not pay attention to the road. I was behind one driver that sat at the light talking until it changed then sped off.
I know that I have made silly mistakes while driving but that not like the ones that I have seen. Nobody is perfect, but I believe that when you are driving not only do you have your life in your hands but other people as well.
This aggravates me to no end so much that I wish I had an eject button in my car to eject them out of their car. When people drive stupidly, they act as if it is your fault and you are in their world and live by the rules of the road that they set. The other driver that gets on my nerves is the driver that loves to talk on the phone and not pay attention to the road. I was behind one driver that sat at the light talking until it changed then sped off.
I know that I have made silly mistakes while driving but that not like the ones that I have seen. Nobody is perfect, but I believe that when you are driving not only do you have your life in your hands but other people as well.
Living Rich
Paying for college is expensive, with many students scrambling for every last bit of financial aid that they can get. Some people may work jobs to make ends meet while still maintaining status as full time students, others may be figuring out how they're going to pay back that lump sum of money they've borrowed. When we think of people attending university, we may conjure images of poor college students making their living off of ramen noodles and yesterday's leftovers. Yet, even though perhaps we are poor (money wise), it shouldn't stop us from having rich and fulfilling experiences throughout university.
Although many things in life would be easier if we all had money, there are a lot things that money can't buy. I know that half the fun of my college experience has been making do with what I had. Within the course of the last month, I've been able to work on my craftsmanship skills by fixing various broken objects in my dorm room using nothing more than everyday household objects.
For starters, my roommate didn't have a way to hang her full length mirror on the door. This was easily solved as I proceeded to plaster the borders with nothing but duct tape. Little did we know, this would only be the beginning of several things in our room that would be duct taped. She also happened to have a whiteboard that she no longer had the velcro strips for, and voila! Duct tape did the trick. Broken plastic hangers? Duct tape! Her boyfriend's broken glasses? No problem! Duct tape! Okay well, I didn't use duct tape. I used electrical tape because it was black and matched his frames. She happened to also break her curling iron, something that came apart and would not clamp together anymore. I considered duct tape, but a paper clip did a better job.
My roommate and I have shared many good laughs over these innovative creations. I doubt we would have tried such creative ways to fix these things if we had the money to purchase brand new ones or "proper" materials to resolve their problems. There are things that aren't tangible, and these experiences are just some of them.
Although many things in life would be easier if we all had money, there are a lot things that money can't buy. I know that half the fun of my college experience has been making do with what I had. Within the course of the last month, I've been able to work on my craftsmanship skills by fixing various broken objects in my dorm room using nothing more than everyday household objects.
For starters, my roommate didn't have a way to hang her full length mirror on the door. This was easily solved as I proceeded to plaster the borders with nothing but duct tape. Little did we know, this would only be the beginning of several things in our room that would be duct taped. She also happened to have a whiteboard that she no longer had the velcro strips for, and voila! Duct tape did the trick. Broken plastic hangers? Duct tape! Her boyfriend's broken glasses? No problem! Duct tape! Okay well, I didn't use duct tape. I used electrical tape because it was black and matched his frames. She happened to also break her curling iron, something that came apart and would not clamp together anymore. I considered duct tape, but a paper clip did a better job.
My roommate and I have shared many good laughs over these innovative creations. I doubt we would have tried such creative ways to fix these things if we had the money to purchase brand new ones or "proper" materials to resolve their problems. There are things that aren't tangible, and these experiences are just some of them.
My Artwork
Art has been a little hobby of mine since a young age. I started out doing graffiti, and drawing buildings for architect reasons. I used to play with point perspective and 3-D perspective. I haven't been drawing lately, due to personal reasons. To the left is a small display of my work.
Oscars
I don't know if that .gif photo is going to work but Anne Hathaway is dancing around in her dress to make the fringes move during the Oscars. I love her cute personality:) So the Oscars last night was amazing. I loved the part when James Franco came out in a dress;) That was hilarious. Overall I thought James Franco and Anne Hathaway were such a great pair for hosting the show.What I didn't like was that a lot of people were just dragging on with their Oscar speeches. Yeah I know it's nerve racking but they didn't seem prepared at all. The performances were really good especially the Tangled theme song. Natalie Portman won best actress award. I still haven't seen Black Swan yet so I guess I'll get to that asap.
I can't believe P.S. 22 from Staten Island were performing as a choir at the end, those kids were so harmonized. At 10 years old, they got a pretty impressive resume: I SANG AT THE 2011 OSCARS. Damn yo.
Caitie Richards post 1
This will be my first upload of many posts. Since grading has begun I figuired I should probably upload my blogs. It isn't that I havent been blogging, just not blogging on blogger. Me and my closest friends on campus, who also happen to be a few of my team mates decided to start a blog, first thing spring semester. You can find us on thoughts.com profile name: BotPaw7. However lately, most of them have been neglecting to blog, the friendship however is still going strong and steady. I'm just worried that the BotPaw7 blog will become the caitie blog.
Blogging in itself is a weird task. Something about the publicity, allows people to be extremely vunerable and yet seemingly open to talk at the same time. Now that it is an assignment, its neccessary, so yeah I find that weird. Im curious as to see where this blog takes me by the end of the semester, and how it will change. I wonder if anyone will even read it. I think they'll enjoy the funfacts I like to include.
I think that if I make this an opinion blog, it won't really make me vunerable, just opinionated, or just a commentary. People can and can not tell a lot about someone from an opinion, I guess we will just haft to wait and see if I have anything worth while to say. Or even if my opinions or my life, say anything about who Caitie Richards is.
FunFact1: I play rugby, and I'm good at it.
Blogging in itself is a weird task. Something about the publicity, allows people to be extremely vunerable and yet seemingly open to talk at the same time. Now that it is an assignment, its neccessary, so yeah I find that weird. Im curious as to see where this blog takes me by the end of the semester, and how it will change. I wonder if anyone will even read it. I think they'll enjoy the funfacts I like to include.
I think that if I make this an opinion blog, it won't really make me vunerable, just opinionated, or just a commentary. People can and can not tell a lot about someone from an opinion, I guess we will just haft to wait and see if I have anything worth while to say. Or even if my opinions or my life, say anything about who Caitie Richards is.
FunFact1: I play rugby, and I'm good at it.
Renaissance Man
As a child I noticed that I had a lot on my mind. It wasn’t until a couple years ago when I started to write poetry. The type of poetry that made one think, think deeper than they sought to. The way to explain my poems is a crossbred between Def Poetry, Spoken Word, and a hint of everyday situation. My work hasn’t gone on display to all but only to a choice few. Few that can appreciate as well as throw back constructive criticism when needed.
I call my type of poems “Deep Nonsense.” Dependent on the reader my poems could be more about nothing, or a lot about something. I know most think poetry is maybe not the most masculine thing to do, but its one of the few hobbies I have. I think of myself as the present day Renaissance man, due to the fact that I like art, music, poetry, and creativity of the past and present.
Rude people
People have become so rude lately. They seem to be to much in a rush to be courteous any more. For instance I was going into a building one day sure that the young man in front of me was going to hold the door and he let it go in my face. I know that he knew that he had let the door slam in my face, but he kept on moving. Another time I was speaking to an old friend in the grocery store one day when someone else who knew my friend came and just jumped in the conversation without saying excuse me.
There are many other instances, but I would be here all day mentioning them. Times are definately changing and so are people. They don't care about too much of anything that doesn't directly affect them. We live in this fast pace world that requires evereyone to move or be moved. This still is no excuse for the way that people behave. I'm talking mainly about the adults. Now if the adults are behaving this way this is where the kids get their rude ways from.
Kids don't even have half of the respect that my generation did growing up. If we did half of the things that some of these kids are doing we couldn"t sit down for week. We would also not see the out doors for a long time.
It seems like the older the kids get the worse they get. Respect has definately gone out the window and people just don't care any more. Don't get me wrong there are some people that still show respect, but it is still few and far between.
There are many other instances, but I would be here all day mentioning them. Times are definately changing and so are people. They don't care about too much of anything that doesn't directly affect them. We live in this fast pace world that requires evereyone to move or be moved. This still is no excuse for the way that people behave. I'm talking mainly about the adults. Now if the adults are behaving this way this is where the kids get their rude ways from.
Kids don't even have half of the respect that my generation did growing up. If we did half of the things that some of these kids are doing we couldn"t sit down for week. We would also not see the out doors for a long time.
It seems like the older the kids get the worse they get. Respect has definately gone out the window and people just don't care any more. Don't get me wrong there are some people that still show respect, but it is still few and far between.
I feel that kids of a certain age do not need a facebook page. They make up the most rediculous things. Some of them are 14 years old stating that they are in their late 20's. There should be some type of guidelines set for being on the website. Also parents should be held accountable for what their children are posting on these internet websites. The internet has become a poison to our young people. They are more interested in what happens on facebook and other websites than they are in their school work.
This is an issue that needs to be addressed. Most parents don't even know what their kids are doing on the internet. They don't check to find out what the kids are being exposed to. This is the reason why we have the low test scores, poor attitudes and the decline in the success of our young people.
Facebook is a good way to keep in touch with family and friends, but it has often been used in the wrong way. The owners of facebook should be more aware of what is being posted on these sites instead of how much profit they are making. I also place the blame on parents!
This is an issue that needs to be addressed. Most parents don't even know what their kids are doing on the internet. They don't check to find out what the kids are being exposed to. This is the reason why we have the low test scores, poor attitudes and the decline in the success of our young people.
Facebook is a good way to keep in touch with family and friends, but it has often been used in the wrong way. The owners of facebook should be more aware of what is being posted on these sites instead of how much profit they are making. I also place the blame on parents!
Routine Resting
There is an unwarming fact that says we spend one third of our lives asleep. Having 24 hours in a day, we are expected to get 7-9 hours of sleep each day to maintain a healthly sleeping pattern. The scary thing is that doctors and scientists do not know exactly what causes this feeling of being tired and what determines the amount of sleep we need based on our age. For example, young children need more sleep than a senior citizen. What is it about a child that makes them need to rest more than a person who has been alive for a longer period of time?
I personally believe in getting 7-9 hours of sleep every night (or more). If i stay up all night studying for a test or doing homework, the whole next day i feel groggy or just miserable. I know many people who will pull an all nighter durrring finals week however it is proven that this doesnt work. You retain more information if you study before you go to bed and sleep an average amount of hours. However, the same goes for oversleeping. if you sleep over 12 hours, you will simply feel tired the next day and the extra sleep will be worth nothing.
All in all, its just better to have a routine that you follow every night. I tend to go to bed at 12 and wake up for school at 7:30. This leaves me plenty of time to sleep and just enough time to get my work done at night. As long as you stay way from the terrible habit of procrastination, you will never have to pull the all nighter and will be feeling refreshed each and every day.
Here is the link to a recent article on sleeping patterns: http://whoknew.news.yahoo.com/?nc&vid=24322867
I personally believe in getting 7-9 hours of sleep every night (or more). If i stay up all night studying for a test or doing homework, the whole next day i feel groggy or just miserable. I know many people who will pull an all nighter durrring finals week however it is proven that this doesnt work. You retain more information if you study before you go to bed and sleep an average amount of hours. However, the same goes for oversleeping. if you sleep over 12 hours, you will simply feel tired the next day and the extra sleep will be worth nothing.
All in all, its just better to have a routine that you follow every night. I tend to go to bed at 12 and wake up for school at 7:30. This leaves me plenty of time to sleep and just enough time to get my work done at night. As long as you stay way from the terrible habit of procrastination, you will never have to pull the all nighter and will be feeling refreshed each and every day.
Here is the link to a recent article on sleeping patterns: http://whoknew.news.yahoo.com/?nc&vid=24322867
My Happiness
I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months and I couldn't be happier. I made a little banner for him, which by the way took two and a half hours.
So here's the banner: http://img196.imageshack.us/img196/5853/9month.jpg
-- Sorry for the short post, there isn't much to say about a banner.
I blended the three images together using the layer mask, the gradient tool and the eraser tool.
I colored it using the screen, lighten and color effects on layer blending options.
I used some overlay, more for the middle picture than the others.
So here's the banner: http://img196.imageshack.us/img196/5853/9month.jpg
-- Sorry for the short post, there isn't much to say about a banner.
I blended the three images together using the layer mask, the gradient tool and the eraser tool.
I colored it using the screen, lighten and color effects on layer blending options.
I used some overlay, more for the middle picture than the others.
Spain or not to Spain?
I have been debating for over a month now whether or not to study abroad next spring semester... it will be my first semester as a senior. I have so much going on that it would definatly be a struggle to get myself there. Then another thought comes to me saying ,Who cares? GOO. I do not think I would regret going , but I do think I might regret not going. I am not sure about how to get scholarship money to go because it is defiantly not going to fit my budget. I will need to find out more about that. So if anyone reading this has gone abroad or knows anything about it feel free to respond :). I want to go to University of Leon in Spain. I have to make a decision soon!
Unconscious Mistakes
My friend pointed out to me that I can't pronounce words that end in "th". I say "maf" instead of "ma-th" and "earf" instead of "earth". I honestly never realized and I wonder if I had been doing that all my life. English was my second language but I started Pre-k in the states. However, my parents didn't know English so they would constantly communicate with me in Chinese. Growing up I had a lot of trouble pronouncing words and writing good papers. Even now, my best subject isn't English but Math and Sciences (how stereotypical lol). I'm good at the subject I can't even pronounce right:P
GAS PRICES AHH!
Gas right now is about $3.60.. last week I saw a gas station for about $3.20 a gallon. They are saying that in about a month it is going to be $4 and by the summer it is going to be $5 a gallon! This is crazyness. I remember almost 3 years ago now when I got my first car and gas was about $4, my car is Honda Civic and since I was still fairly new to driving I didn't think it was a big deal. I just complained because every one else was. Then it went back down under $3 for a little while and now this again! People are loosing their jobs left and right and gas will continue to go up. There are people who have had a truck for years and cannot buy a new car and are spending hundreds on gas each week. I feel so bad for them. I am just lucky for my little Honda.
At work the bartenders and bus boys hourly sallaries are getting cut from $11 the bartenders, $8 for the bus boys, down to $5 both. Us servers always tipped them out but we had been asked to tip out more because it is going to effect everyone. This is real life, even for the Pink Collar workers
Make the Ugly Beautiful
today looks like a pretty crappy day weather wise, it's raining and kind of cold out. this morning on my way to class i decided to walk there without an umbrella and strictly be an observer. As i walked i saw an array of beautiful things. colorful rain coats and flashy rain boots were everywhere. I've never really noticed how much beauty is in a rainy winter day until today. i am usually focused on staying dry but getting wet in the rain was actually quite nice for a change. besides the exciting rain fashion the rain itself is pretty beautiful. back when i was younger i hated the rain. not only did it stop us from getting out for recess but it washed away the beautiful chalk drawings that we'd wish would have lasted forever. today seeing the rain wash away the snow is more preferable. the sounds and smell of the rain is also welcomed. another thing that i find quite relaxing is the thunder. lightning though beautiful and all still creeps me out... but thunder always sparks my imagination even though science class has explained to me what really happens i still would chose to believe what my child hood self thought of that mysterious sound from above.
besides the calming sounds of the falling rain the promise that rain brings is also welcomed. in winter rain means to me that it's no longer that cold out for there to be snow which means YAY no more snow for a while. hopefully within the coming months there will be beautiful flowers greeting us!
Things Change
I am in my junior year at college and a lot has changed since my freshman year. My two best friends from high school, Rebecca and Gina go here to Stony Brook as well. For a while we were having a blast, we always had been so close and never in a million years thought anything would come between us. We made new friends of course but they were "our" friends. We would also compare our friendship to others and say , "there just not like us". Since we were getting older and still were just as close it did not seem that something like a boy would get in between. I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years now . His name is Justin. Justin has always been close with my friends and we always hung out with his friends. My best friend Gina began to date one of his last year. At first it was cool because we could all hang out and he lives up the street from my boyfriend. My friend Rebecca did not approve , and rightfully so. The guy is a total dirt bag. I accepted because it was my fault she ever met him and it is true , you cant help who you love. Justin , Pat, Gina and I would all hang out together and Rebecca would grow resentful. Eventually I had a falling out with her boyfriend and Gina and Pat fell off the face of the earth. Now I can't stand to be around them. I am convinced she is brainwashed. My boyfriend and I can see his house from the street when we drive by to go somewhere and I will see her car and it hits me that my "best friend" is up the street and I had no idea... this is strange because our boyfriends live 40 mins away from us. Anyway I know she is not happy with no friends and it makes me really sad that this all happened.
Just Lovely
I would like to think that I'm a nice person. I'm a person who would be ok with you leaving me behind to clean up the mess. I really don't mind it at all. Though with this kindness I've realized that it's partially because I tend to have a passive personality, so in a sense it's kind of ingrained in me.
This, however, does not mean that it gives anyone the right to just push me around. Sadly though it seems this is what has been happening lately. It's one thing to invite your friend to have fun while you close off access to my room, I don't mind that. However if you're going to it off to me at 2:30am and not give me any fair warning to come back inside, that is just rude.
I dislike being taken advantage like that, but I'm in a bind. I feel that since they have to put up with my messy side of the room, I may as well make it up by inviting their friend over. Though this is starting to wear thin. I'm probably going to have to confront them about this soon. Something I really don't want to do, and yet I have to.
Nostalgia
Why is it that everything from the past seems so much better than how things are now. Whether it comes to TV shows, to music, to just fun times with friends, it's always better when it's in the past, even when it wasn't that good when it was in the present.
For example the first semester of my freshman year I had a blast. I already knew a few people that were older than me that went here and had no problems making friends right away. The next semester however, everything just didn't seem as good. The parties were worse, my classes were worse, even just hanging out didn't feel as fun as it used to. However, me and my friend were reminiscing one night of our time at Stony Brook, and more than half of the things we thought of were from that second semester that I thought sucked. It wasn't until a year later that I realized how much more fun that semester really was.
So in reality, I think it really just comes down to it as people just cherishing their first love of something, or their first experience, and subconsciously not allowing ourselves to let new experiences live up to the original ones.
So basically, the moral of this blog is to not let the good times you had in the past cloud your happiness of the present
Finally The Rock HAS COME BACK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lhUZzJlA88&feature=fvst
Now, I don't know about most of you, but for me my childhood was infested by wrestling. I didn't know a single kid (male of course) in my school that didn't watch wrestling. From Stone Cold Steve Austin, to DX, to The Rock, wrestling was sure in it's hay day when I was little. There was even a time that I wanted to be a professional wrestler (the fake kind, not the ones that compete in the Olympics) I'm not sure if it is because I got older, or just because wrestling just wasn't as entertaining as it used to be I eventually outgrew it, only to come back and watch a few matches every once in a while, before finally officially dying out around 8th grade due to some of my favorites like The Rock and Stone Cold not having as much screen time as they used to, and then eventually just leaving.
And even though I haven't watched wrestling in over 8 years, I have to admit, this little stunt that they pulled has certainly sparked my interest.
College Students Don't Learn
http://www.usatoday.com/news/education/2011-01-18-littlelearning18_ST_N.htm
Just a little article that I came across a little while ago that I can definitely relate to. My explanation for this is that most college students don't really know what they want to do with their lives after a few years in college, or just because the major that they're in, the hard classes for them don't really start until their Junior year. Most colleges apply some sort of general curriculum upon their students that requires them to take a whole bunch of different classes that they may not need, are not interested in, and consider them easy. Therefore, the students feel like they can get away with not going to class or studying, and just slack off.
Solving Rubix Cube
Me solving a rubix cube
I just memorized the algorithm one day when my friend bet that I couldn't learn to solve it before he got back from work.
What It Means to be Human
My HDV 101 assignment from my freshman year.
I do not believe that there is one single defining trait that makes a human, a human. To me, there are many things that go along with being a human. It means making mistakes and growing and learning from those same mistakes to hopefully make yourself a better person as to not make the same mistake in the future. Being a human means struggling to achieve your goals so that one day you may eventually better yourself or those around you, and that in the end, it would be all worth it. As a human you make new friends, and lose old ones, and always have some sort of urge to socialize with others, and because of that, there is a lot of drama that comes along with being a human as well as a lot of conflicts between friends and family. As humans, I believe that we never want to see another human suffer, and that there is something within us that tells us how it just isn’t right when we see something like this.
It is through these things and various other little traits that define what humans are. They all are not necessary traits within humans, and if a human is lacking one of those traits, it certainly does not mean that they are not a human. However, being a human being does not just mean having a superior mental capacity over other animals, but rather something much deeper than that, that lies within all of us.
Video Blog #1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARH7hYmf_Jw
Sound and quality isn't that great, webcam and mic aren't that good and you can see
Sports
Before college, I don't think there wasn't a prolonged period of time when I wasn't playing some sort of sport, whether it be soccer, baseball, volleyball, or football. I was a very active student during high school, but for some reason, since I've come to Stony Brook I've barely played any sports what so ever which is a little odd if you think about it.
I played soccer almost my whole life up until i was 18, only taking a short break when I was 10, and then realized I missed it and then joined again. I played on the highschool team and a travel team that sort of died down during my junior and senior year in highschool. For the highschool team during my Junior year, we were in the 2nd division of the top conference, and made it to the playoffs where we played another team that was in our division, even though they believed that they should have been a division higher and this was their time to show it. Unfortunately for them however, they lost to us in the playoffs, but we only played one more game before we were eliminated by a division 1 team.
The next year, my Senior year, we got bumped up to division 1 which to be honest, we really shouldn't have been apart of. Alot of seniors had graduated the previous year, and we had alot of unproven talent on our team. However, all D-1 teams in that Conference made the playoffs, so my coach accepted the offer. I played goalie and after a few losses that year and without much goals scored, my morale was so that I felt that once I let in a goal, the game was over. My teammates view it as me giving up, which in reality I was, but I was tired of getting beat up for a lost cause especially since we already were in the playoffs. This proved to be a very bad thing as we ended up losing our first game in the playoffs to a lower division team that we completely outplayed and lost on an own goal from one of my defenders.
I haven't played soccer since, and regret my senior year of soccer to this day.
The Last Minute
If there is one thing that I am guilty of, it is being a huge procrastinator. My friend likes to say that procrastinators that are actually able to do all the work that is presented to them, and do it without cutting corners are much smarter that others because they are able to do the amount of work it took one person to do in 2 weeks to do in a few hours before this is true. I don't think this is true at all because every time I have some sort of assignment I regret it every time when I leave myself no time to do anything else other than the assignment.
To be honest, I think I'm somewhat cursed. I have a "skill", if you want to call it that, that I know exactly how long something will take me, and I won't start it until I have that much time left to do it. Sometimes it even surprises me when I'll start and think that there will be no way I finish this in time, and then somehow be able to finish it in time, and with good results.
So it certainly holds true to me that if it weren't for the last minute, I wouldn't get anything done.
Insomnia?
Ever since high school I've been sleeping less and less. I remember back in elementary when there wasn't much to do I would listen to my parents and sleep at 10pm or earlier. Since high school I started sleeping a lot later. I even tend to not fall sleep till the morning. I wonder if it's insomnia or I just preoccupied over something and I just lose the urge to sleep.
These days whenever I try to fall asleep I would have to watch a movie first before I can actually sleep. It would take me about an hour to fall asleep whenever I go to bed. The thing is I sleep really late but at the same tend I would wake up early as well. Even during days when I have to wake up early I find it hard to fall asleep sometimes without watching a movie.
I guess as I grow older I will cherish my sleep time more. For now I gotta fix my sleeping schedule cause it's really screwed up. Midterms are coming up too and this could be really troublesome. Sooner or later I'm gonna have to pay the price.
Stony Brook Furniture
About a year and a half ago, my suite couch 2 seater broke (in every Kelly Quad Suite you get a three seater couch and a two seater couch) after a friend of one of my suitemate had accidentally broke it after he sat down on it, and no he wasn't that fat, he just sat down very VERY hard. At the time we thought it was no big deal, and that the couch would eventually get fixed and we'd have 2 couches again. So we put in the work order to get it fixed and waited. Weeks passed, and then eventually months pass, and still nothing, just a broken couch piled up in the corner of the room collecting dust. Eventually the fall semester ends and we still have no new couch. Ignorantly I assumed that when we got back the couch would either be fixed or we'd have a new one, and we could finally have more than 3 people sit outside in the suite without having to bring chairs in, but I was very wrong.
I move back in and the broken couch is still there. At this point I got very annoyed and me and my suitemates began repeatedly calling the RHD and repair services to get this couch fixed, even though they told us that if we kept calling to place the order that it was broken, the work order would be delayed. That wasn't the case because later that week we finally got a new couch, the only problem was, it wasn't that new. It was the couches they used before they got new furniture however long ago, so this beast of a seat has essentially no padding what so ever, and feels as if you are just sitting on a pile of wood. We eventually tried to get it swapped with another two seated couch from another suite, but this was when we realized that the other couches don't fit through the door (how they got them in in the first place is beyond me because I don't think they built every couch in every suite.) So yeah, it's now a year later and we still has this wooden monstrosity and to be honest, I believe that couch will be hear until it breaks.
expectations never met
I have a skewed perception of love due to excessive movie and show watching. None of my relationships have ever been close to ideal. There’s an image I’ll create and strive to achieve that never seems to fall in place. I have these unrealistic expectations I keep wanting to experience, knowing they’re simply romanticized Hollywood ideals. We all want that sultry TV-show encounters, where eyes meet and souls intertwine. Dialogue is always perfect and the ambiance is sexy. Butterflies should fly through your stomach in this moment where nothing else matters.
But this never happens. Relationships are always portrayed with a foundation of undeniable love. But what is love? It’s not just the attraction one has for the other… Is it acceptance of who they are, despite your differences? Is it the desire to devote all you emotions and efforts in one person? One could do everything in their power for the other, be fully devoted and accepting, yet the relationship could easily fail. What about feeling uncontrollable sexual desires for someone? It could just be completely physical and emotionless, no love there. So, what is love? What is a normal relationship supposed to be like?
TV and movies portray sex as steamy, crazy, most-amazing-experience-ever. But is it ever really like that in real life? Things seem awkward or nerve-wrecking. It’s never as good as in the movies. The crazy acrobatic moves, risky behaviors, rough play with one anothers’ bodies… those things never seem to happen. Sex never seems to meet the standards of TV and movies.
Sure, maybe it’s just because I haven’t met the right person that I would view love, sex and relationships in that matter. But I honestly think, as a CCS major and aspiring film editor, it’s my excessive watching of shows and movies that will forever hinder my expectations of love and intimacy.
But this never happens. Relationships are always portrayed with a foundation of undeniable love. But what is love? It’s not just the attraction one has for the other… Is it acceptance of who they are, despite your differences? Is it the desire to devote all you emotions and efforts in one person? One could do everything in their power for the other, be fully devoted and accepting, yet the relationship could easily fail. What about feeling uncontrollable sexual desires for someone? It could just be completely physical and emotionless, no love there. So, what is love? What is a normal relationship supposed to be like?
TV and movies portray sex as steamy, crazy, most-amazing-experience-ever. But is it ever really like that in real life? Things seem awkward or nerve-wrecking. It’s never as good as in the movies. The crazy acrobatic moves, risky behaviors, rough play with one anothers’ bodies… those things never seem to happen. Sex never seems to meet the standards of TV and movies.
Sure, maybe it’s just because I haven’t met the right person that I would view love, sex and relationships in that matter. But I honestly think, as a CCS major and aspiring film editor, it’s my excessive watching of shows and movies that will forever hinder my expectations of love and intimacy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)