Pretty much the worst thing that could happen.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse... they did. My grandmother's best friend of 18+ years passed away yesterday. I guess since we've known her for so long she became part of our family to. We all cared about her and asked how she was doing. It's insane how people like that can slip through your fingers so suddenly.

I'm extremely upset because of what happened but I'm also worried about my grandmother and how she's taking it. I'm pretty closed off when it comes to things like crying, I don't like to cry in front of my mother because then she gets upset and vice versa. Like when my mother cried after giving birth to my brother I cried too. Anyway, we are all a mess. I found out at least the woman died peacefully and my grandmother told me a couple more stories about her and she truly was an exceptional woman. You know there are some people that just keep giving and never really expect anything in return, well that was her. She didn't have children but she had some extended family in her country and she still continued to send things to them. I guess you could say she had "extended children" (if that makes any sense).

I found out that she didn't want to buried but she choose to be cremated and her reasoning was that she knew no one would take care of her grave site and she didn't want to be a burden. How sad is that, I mean seriously. How can family be like that. She lost her husband many years ago and I believe she has some very distant cousin in Canada but I guess they won't be coming down here for anymore more than the reading of the will.

Maybe I was just brought up differently but at least in my family, you put the family first. It's not work or school, family comes first and when someone needs help the others come running. This woman was 89 years old and no one was there. She was in good health until this incident happened.

I feel horrible. I know how much my grandmother loved this woman, they really were very good friends and I know she's taking it very hard. If I'm taking it this hard, I can't imagine how she's doing. She's been crying pretty much since she was told.

My grandmother wasn't told what's going on with me because it really won't do her any good to worry. My mother, my boyfriend and I are already worrying enough.

Wherever this woman is, I really hope she is at peace and she knows we love and miss her terribly.

#18