I went to go meet the surgeon and he seems like a nice guy... but I got bad news. I'm screwed. I've had 4 "attacks" last week, including one right before the film class, and no more painkillers... oh and the best part... next time I have an attack.. off to the hospital I go for emergency surgery.
I found out it's extremely difficult to concentrate while on painkillers... I almost ran out of my organic chemistry exam on wednesday because the pain was kicking my butt. So I'm aiming for April 14th for the surgery but most likely it'll be much sooner. At least my mother likes the surgeon. He said he has 300 surgeries before me so I'm glad he knows his stuff.
I'm happy it's going to get done but it's still surgery so inside.. I'd rather run and hide. I'm more worried about missing classes than anything else I guess. But on the upside, if I have the surgery early I'll be able to move around during spring break and actually do something... like go to the city and enjoy the sunshine.
My friend was supposed to come over this weekend but my mother had dibs. Now, I can't go too far from home (+ the hospital) but I have to. On the upside, I got my Ipad 2. I'm just so tired lately I haven't been able to play with it as much as I had wanted to. From what I do know about it, I love it. Now, I just need a case. That's usually the most difficult part.
I'm (or more like my friends) already making post surgery plans. So far, I have a trip to Hooter's planned for buffalo wings and beer.
I just don't want people to worry. I found out my grandmother wasn't told so she wouldn't worry, I worry enough about this whole thing for everyone. Now I clued my boyfriend in on what the doctor said and he's worried. We're all a mess.
What a wonderful weekend hmm. At least the doctor said it must be hereditary because I'm fairly normal sized weight wise. I work so hard to take care of myself and genetics bites me in the butt. Life's not fair.
#17.. I really need to catch up on my writing and post up my ideas but for now.. I get to attempt to eat and probably another nap.
Saturday, 26 March 2011
Selfless to criminal
"Same sword they knight you with,they're gonna good night you with". All to often I feel this quote holds true in my life. My interpretation of it is that people will praise you for your consistent upstanding behavior or achievement by they will also scrutinize and eliminate your relevance when they feel like it. I'm very aware that in life we all experience scenarios in which we are the "knight" and for some, consciously or unconsciously playing the "good nighter"
In my personal life I feel as is my extremely selfless attitude has often times gained the trust of others but Ive also seen it become something people begin to feel entitled to. Many times people cannot accept our imperfect human being make-up when they feel they're being deprived of something by someone. I believe that as a result of this I often become a bad guy to some people when I choose to simply opt to somewhat selfish in opposed to selfless. After recently taking an extensive look into the results of trying to satisfy others needs while making own a 2nd priority, Ive found I am now voided in some areas in my life. It's put me in a place where I'm now faced with situations that require a level of selflessness that I'm usually able to give but cannot because I feel I've deprived myself of so much in the past.
While I'd like to feel a sense of resentment towards those who I've sacrificed for I know that ultimately it was my choice and in many respects don't regret being a selfless individual. I know now though that any forward movement and progress in my life will have to come with some level of selfishness.
In my personal life I feel as is my extremely selfless attitude has often times gained the trust of others but Ive also seen it become something people begin to feel entitled to. Many times people cannot accept our imperfect human being make-up when they feel they're being deprived of something by someone. I believe that as a result of this I often become a bad guy to some people when I choose to simply opt to somewhat selfish in opposed to selfless. After recently taking an extensive look into the results of trying to satisfy others needs while making own a 2nd priority, Ive found I am now voided in some areas in my life. It's put me in a place where I'm now faced with situations that require a level of selflessness that I'm usually able to give but cannot because I feel I've deprived myself of so much in the past.
While I'd like to feel a sense of resentment towards those who I've sacrificed for I know that ultimately it was my choice and in many respects don't regret being a selfless individual. I know now though that any forward movement and progress in my life will have to come with some level of selfishness.
Success?
"See Martin, see Malcolm You see Biggie, see Pac, see success and its outcome See Jesus, see Judas; see Caesar, see Brutus See success is like suicide, Suicide, it's a suicide If you succeed, prepare to be crucified" This quote is one of my favorites of all time. For my next couple of blogs I will be going into some depth about some interesting quotes I've found and tried to mold my life around. This particular quote is one that I find very interesting because it holds so much truth in relation to people mentioned in it. Though they all existed in completely different time periods they all lost their lives to the timeless subject of success and what it means outside of the positive connotations associated with it.
The inclusion of Jesus, Judas, Caesar, and Brutus is what sticks out to me the most because they embody individuals whose success was hampered with by people they considered to be close with. I find the relations I have with people to be very important and because of that I surround myself with a very small circle of people I call friends. I consider myself who wants to and will eventually be very successful and its essential that I observe those people who choose to be there for me in the present as I build toward my success. I also try to remember that I myself don't consumed with getting success because like the quote say, success can be suicide.
I often ask myself if i personally define success could I make myself immune to the Brutus's and Judas's of the world. I've currently not been able to answer that question but hope that I can at some point in my life.
The inclusion of Jesus, Judas, Caesar, and Brutus is what sticks out to me the most because they embody individuals whose success was hampered with by people they considered to be close with. I find the relations I have with people to be very important and because of that I surround myself with a very small circle of people I call friends. I consider myself who wants to and will eventually be very successful and its essential that I observe those people who choose to be there for me in the present as I build toward my success. I also try to remember that I myself don't consumed with getting success because like the quote say, success can be suicide.
I often ask myself if i personally define success could I make myself immune to the Brutus's and Judas's of the world. I've currently not been able to answer that question but hope that I can at some point in my life.
Left & Right Brain
In pre-k and kindergarten, our teachers wanted us to do arts and craft, paint, and play dress up. This was to help us with our motor skills that were still developing at a young age. This is the reason why we learned not to write with our entire arm or wrist but just with simple movements of our fingers. At a young age, we were also exercising our right brain, our creative side.
As much as schools try to integrate both sides of the brain into our curriculum, I feel that I was always using my left brain in high school and when I came to college. My parents were always "pro left brain" meaning all they wanted me to do in life was to be successful in the math and sciences. I loved science in high school but when I came to Stony Brook, I hated it. It was entirely memorization in all my science classes and I hated that because I never knew the reason behind what I was doing. As much as we need to utilize our left brain, I would prefer using my right brain more.
Friday, 25 March 2011
PC
So I built my PC quite a few years ago and it's still holding out but it's no where as powerful as other machines I see today. This goes to show you how fast Technology has changed This computer when i built it was worth over 1500 dollars. Now if you go into a bestbuy it would probably not even be worth 600 bucks. Technology runs at such a rapid pace that we must realize that if we don't adapt to our ever so changing environment that we will be for lack of better terms.."Left in the cyber dust".
It's gotten to the point where people even started tossing out there old tech. I'm not ashamed to say a few weeks ago I saw a nice 15 inch LCD monitor on the curb and i picked it up, threw it in the trunk and brought it home. The screen still works fine and now I am dual Screening. People need to understand that although technology is moving fast and it is required to adapt to your technological environment, it does not mean to get rid off or think less of past tech. It is all still tech and it is all still useful.
It's gotten to the point where people even started tossing out there old tech. I'm not ashamed to say a few weeks ago I saw a nice 15 inch LCD monitor on the curb and i picked it up, threw it in the trunk and brought it home. The screen still works fine and now I am dual Screening. People need to understand that although technology is moving fast and it is required to adapt to your technological environment, it does not mean to get rid off or think less of past tech. It is all still tech and it is all still useful.
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