Showing posts with label #15. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #15. Show all posts
Friday, 29 April 2011
Monday, 14 March 2011
Friendzone
I often find it hard to establish certain lines between genders. A girl could never be "one of the boys". Despite as much as a tomboy a girl may be, she will never be included in boys' events. That's what my childhood growing up was like. "Where do I belong?" was something I always struggled with. Always a fan of sports, being outdoors, computers and playing video games; afraid of dolls, barbies and make-up. I never quite fit in or belonged anywhere.
College was the first time I began to actually surround myself with girls. Though the reasoning for this wasn't because I grew out of that tomboy phase, but instead because of sex and dating. Growing up, I realized I hung out with boys that I spent years growing up with. In college, it was meeting new guys, and this was a harder task than one could imagine. The first thing to cross a college boys' mind seems to be sex. They show interest only if there's potential in sex. However, when I met guys while I was in a relationship, they were more likely to be open to a frienship, probably in hopes of future dibs. Being a single girl just looking for a group of boys to be friends with is hard.
Is that really something that hard to ask for? The second you friendzone a guy that seems interesting, they decide you're not worth the effort anymore. Is it really that taboo to be friends with the opposite sex just because? I find it hard to understand people as a whole.
College was the first time I began to actually surround myself with girls. Though the reasoning for this wasn't because I grew out of that tomboy phase, but instead because of sex and dating. Growing up, I realized I hung out with boys that I spent years growing up with. In college, it was meeting new guys, and this was a harder task than one could imagine. The first thing to cross a college boys' mind seems to be sex. They show interest only if there's potential in sex. However, when I met guys while I was in a relationship, they were more likely to be open to a frienship, probably in hopes of future dibs. Being a single girl just looking for a group of boys to be friends with is hard.
Is that really something that hard to ask for? The second you friendzone a guy that seems interesting, they decide you're not worth the effort anymore. Is it really that taboo to be friends with the opposite sex just because? I find it hard to understand people as a whole.
Thursday, 10 March 2011
A Step From the Ledge
It was 3:45 in the morning, he remembered because he just checked my watch before he stared out into the city. He had just drank what was left in the minibar from the last time he was in there, there was still plenty enough for him to feel numb again. It was a bad night and an even worse weekend, he had just been fired about 5 weeks ago and was living out of a hotel room. He didn't want to move back in with the parents because he didn't want them to know that he hadn't lived up to their expectations. He was suppose to be the successful one, the one who rose above all that came before him, the savior and he couldn't face them after what he had gone through. To be a man is to have pride, and to lose that pride is one of the worst things a man can go through.
His face was numb, this is how he wanted to feel...numb, better than the alternative. The past weekend he had gone for another interview and again disappointment. A man can only be denied so many times before he gives up. He already nearing that point before she decided it would be nice to take a break from each other. He knew what that meant, it meant he was probably never going to see her again. In his time of need she left him, in his last desperate hours she left him, when he needed her the most, she left him.
And so his face is numb, he is on the 26th floor and it is 4:16am. There is a nice view of the city from the balcony of his room. He opens the window takes another swig from the bottle steps out onto the ledge, there breeze that brushes his face. The city is alive with noise and lights, he takes another step the tips of his toes are now over the ledge. Tears start to fall down his cheek as he prepares himself for what he is about to do. He recalls all the sad memories he had throughout his life and his whole life flashed before his eyes. Another breeze followed by a sudden rush and then just...
His face was numb, this is how he wanted to feel...numb, better than the alternative. The past weekend he had gone for another interview and again disappointment. A man can only be denied so many times before he gives up. He already nearing that point before she decided it would be nice to take a break from each other. He knew what that meant, it meant he was probably never going to see her again. In his time of need she left him, in his last desperate hours she left him, when he needed her the most, she left him.
And so his face is numb, he is on the 26th floor and it is 4:16am. There is a nice view of the city from the balcony of his room. He opens the window takes another swig from the bottle steps out onto the ledge, there breeze that brushes his face. The city is alive with noise and lights, he takes another step the tips of his toes are now over the ledge. Tears start to fall down his cheek as he prepares himself for what he is about to do. He recalls all the sad memories he had throughout his life and his whole life flashed before his eyes. Another breeze followed by a sudden rush and then just...
Saturday, 26 February 2011
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