When I thought all systems were ready to go, there is always just this one little miscalculation and the launch is aborted. In this case it was about the JET Program and living in Japan for a year. Initially I thought I had received the OK from my parents and went through some ridiculous procedures to complete the paperwork. It was too good to be true and finally reality comes crashing down on me.
It was the night of my dad’s birthday and all of us were together eating cake and watching TV. Then the confrontation started. It was a long one that felt like it lasted for ages. My dad spoke first and said we don’t want you to go. I didn’t budge but just stared. They acknowledge my efforts and how hard I worked to get into the program but they said this is not the right time. Each one – dad, mom, and brother, took turns explaining their reasons – radiation fear, long term health effects (cancer), rich Japanese people are fleeing from Japan and to Hong Kong, don’t trust the Japanese government’s information, and so on. They want me to stay healthy and go back when it is deemed officially safe.
The work came crashing down on me. I just couldn’t stop the tears from coming down from face. It hurts to hear them say “no” and in my mind I was frustrated that I was so close to reaching my dream and suddenly see the gates close right before me. While they were talking, all I can think of was “I want to go. I want to go…” I tried to fight back but my tears and emotions kept on getting in the way and when I did, it easily got shot down by the family. They told me to think about it and that night I cried and didn’t fall asleep until dawn rose.
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