As I prepare to leave Stony Brook I feel the need to recap on something I've come to learn and realize. When it comes to the topic of long term relationships and commitment men and women thought process and reasoning on the subject are completely different. Women to feel with gut and heart and can readily commit to long term to relationship that they feel has potential. Men on the other hand work by an essential trail and error system. A man can readily admit that a particular woman is perfect for him in the long term but he will most likely need to convince himself of that thought by involving himself with other women in order to have a mean of comparison against the woman he feels could be right for him.
Its important for women to realize that its somewhat important for a man to work on that trail and error basis even though on some levels its unfair to a female who doesn't needs a means of comparison for the man she loves. Unfortunately committing to monogamy is a painful thought to a man, but with enough experiences with other women he will most likely grow to realize that a certain female is right for him. If a woman tries to speed up or cut short a mans trail and error phase she will only be hurting herself in the long term. A man will grow to internally resent the woman he is with because she didn't allow him to naturally and independently relieve himself of his need to test out what type of woman fits best with him, even if the woman that best fits him is the one who cut his trail and error phase short.
I personally can understand the perspective and feeling of both men and women on this topic and even feel slightly sorry for women, because at some point in life I would like to have a daughter and I would hate for her to have to experience a mans trail and error phase.
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