this is an old post i made for my best friend when she was having a bad day, she is my sister and my hetero life partner.
You must not be aware that I consider EJ Slice my most treasured and loved thing in all aspects of my life. If you wanted to come to a tea party of the alpha omega people in life it would consist of EJ Slice, Nana Babs, & Susan Boyle being served crumpets by Jesus Christ & the table would be bused by Mr.G from Summer Heights High.
The reason I say you must not know that she is literally a part of me, is because you would realize that if I even sense a glimmer of sorrow on that sweet polish perogi face of hers, I would hulk out and probably widow make your ass quicker than a first cousin marriage in Arkansas.
I consider my friends my blood, and EJ is my sister from another mister. So stop cutting her in line, because she gets crwanky when she's hungry. Stop making her think that she is anything less than Gorgeous/Bonita, because to be honest if I wasn't completely enslaved to the male persuasion, I would tap that. Also make sure you take a second to smell her, its like the sweet sweet scent of vicotry, doused in heaven's nectar. Yeah she's been marinating in that for about 38years.
lastly, I will straight up cut you or just embaress you to the Nth degree, if i feel you are anything less than angelic towards her.
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