How could she?

A few years ago my sister attempted to commit suicide. When my mom received the phone call I felt like my world had just ended. My mom and I had recently moved to Texas and it was the first time in my life that I wasn’t living in the same place as my sister, who was still living in Puerto Rico. My sister is the most important person in my life. I know many people feel this way about their siblings but in my case my sister was not only my sister. In the past few years she had also taken the roll of my mother to a certain extent, she was my best friend and she was literally my life. The most painful factor in the whole situation was not the distance between us, nor even the fact that she had attempted suicide, it was rather the fact that she was willing and able to just desert me. She had been dealing with many personal issues but her and I had always shared the idea that even if the whole world turned their back on us, we would be able to deal with it because we would face it together. The first feeling that rushed through me was fear, fear of losing the only person in this world that knew me down to my core. After we got the news that she was going to make it, I suddenly felt a surge of anger. For the next few days I hated her, which was a feeling I had never truly felt towards my sister, but I just couldn’t help it. Her act seemed so selfish to me and I couldn’t understand how it was so easy for her to just abandon me.