Caitlin Richards 7

Hola Hombres,

heads up, this is a long one, so don't feel like you need to read.

I'm a in weird place right now, not really a bad place or a great place, a weird place. idk i feel like in the belly button of life recently.

I made it through probably one of the scariest and most serious times of my life these past few months. I will maybe go into more detail about it later, but for the last few months of 2010, I was potentially really sick. (side note, i don't like the term sick, it's so dismal, lets say i was potentially screwed for awhile.) For those who know me, not richards, for those who know Caitie. They know, I don't like to show sadness, or let my anger get of control, or really be weak in front of anyone. I just like to be happy, I have no problem getting choked up for the people I love when they got ish, just I don't get choked up about me.

Thankfully, I made it through the woods, and I found out 2days after christmas that I had a clean bill of health. Only about a handful of people knew about it, and actually it was a weird handful. Not the typical people you would tell. However, if any of those who knew, are reading this, you have no idea how deeply you helped me, truly i am forever grateful (lemme know if i can throw you a blowy or something sometime). I digress. For instance my mom only knew that I was worried about being sick, I never told her that I had tests and appointments for a bunch of months, i'm not even sure if my dad knew. idk i just don't like to be a burden to people. The scariest parts were the waiting I guess. Because I had to switch insurance from Jersey (shout out to my home state) to new york there was a period of about 4 weeks where I wasn't getting any answers. That month sucked sweaty ass. Some people could tell that I was a little off, but for the most part I tried to remain my loud, upbeat self.

It's not something I like to talk about, but It's something I haft to be responsible about. Because what i could get is pretty prominent in my family history on both sides, I have a better chance of being screwed. However for now I am happy and healthy ( i just looked over and my sudo sister ej was bumpin to some ill, music, so it made me smile). Im keepin up with my medicine and vitamins so I hope I'll be good. It's just all surreal, I was really really concerned for awhile, then relieved, but still on the lookout since the doctor's said i have about a 70% chance of getting screwed at some point in my life. Fuck screwed, I hate it, and its dumb and its ugly, and its a super sneaky bastard. If I ever even see Screwed again, I'm giving it a swift kick to the cackles.

For right now I'm just gonna ride life out, like a majestic dragon on the grounds of Hogwarts.

Medicine

I'm very hick about a few things. It makes me sound very uneducated but medicine is very hard for me to comprehend. It's not that I'm distrustful; I know it does work. However, medicine was always taboo for me growing up. It was seen as giving into the weakness, rather than naturally fighting off illness.

Doctor visits for always for my broken bones (and I've broken a lot of things) until I was about 17. When I was 17, I went to the doctor because I thought I had strep throat. That was the first time I went for an illness. And, as it turns out, I didn't even have strep throat so I felt incredibly stupid.

Growing up in a small town, advice is medicine. I know many people who think microwaves are dangerous and contact lenses will give you eye problems. But I do think that people should be more cautious about medicine. I try not to take medicine when I'm sick. I drink fluids and sleep it off. I don't even like to use hairspray because of the chemicals.